No boat Trip again ’cause of the rain the previous night. So we threw our hands up and said “Fuck it, that’s seven days of consecutive cancellations, let’s find somewhere more interesting to go. After checking out and packing up our things (as well as getting back Rick’s passport for the snorkel, we grabbed an indulgent burger a piece from the restaurant and awaited our chariot at 1:30.
Awesome ride. When we got in, did some research at the internet cafe, bought a 40 B six-pack of water we immediately lost, and decided to buy a ferry ticket back to Chumphon where we would decide about a national Park called Khao Sam Roi. If it’s cheap enough we’ll stay there tonight and head out in the even the next day for Bangkok for the conclusion of our journey.
I write to you now from a catamaran heading towards Chumphon while watching Max Payne. I finished Red Dust and Rick is already a few chapters in.
The trip has been for the most part awesome. Bangkok, a beach in the Thailand Gulf with beautiful scenery, good food, good people, cool water, high cliffs, and some very good conversations. I’ve gotten rather philosophical and find myself wondering how long I’ll be abroad, where I’ll go, and how I’ll continue to live with my loved ones in my life. It’s very difficult to everyday see the world, watch myself grow, see who I am in the world – all extremely important things – while everyday justifying why I put half a world between myself and my most loved-ones to myself and to those included (AKA – Ansley). I feel like this trip has indeed tempered my fear of the unknown, and more – the uncontrollable. After I swam ashore yesterday battered, cut up, tired, and a touch blind from losing my contact lenses, I still enjoyed a calm victory for making it back from the rocks I repelled down to. I don’t know where I’m sleeping tonight, what I’ll see today, where I’m going. But I know I got base cash and knowledge, a passport, and the determination to get me through the rest. Control some things – the important things, only as much as you can. The rest is sand between our fingers.
But when you have the basics down, your mind turns to bigger problems – who do I want to grow old with? What kind of person do I want to be? How can I die with a smile of satisfaction on my lips and what is the best path to such a fate? Is there such an ideal path? Where is my home? Right now it still feels like Minnesota. How does on live in a place that is not home? Will where I am become home? Do I want it to become so?
They keep saying I’m still young but as someone once told me, “When you’ve found the rest of your life, you want to start is as soon as possible.” Tonight I’ll sleep. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and I suppose I’ll have the rest of my life to ponder the rest of my life.
